Lalwa saw a wooden notice board in the middle of the big pond and had forgotten his eye glasses at home. He could not read, so he swam all the way to the board and read,
"Lake infiltrated with killing Crocodiles, do not swim."
*********************************
Lalwa and Kalwa went to rob a bank and noticed
They forgot to bring the Gun from home. However, they did rob the bank.
They went to the Bank Manager Balwa their cousin, Who told them..
"go ahead rob the bank, I trust you, bring and show me your gun tomorrow."
*********************************
Lalwa came from USA and was expecting wife to greet him at home who was not there.
So he asked his son," Hey Lallu, where is your Mom."
Lallu said, "Mom ran away with neighbor uncle."
Lalwa got mad and Yelled, "You SOB, how come you did not inform me when I talked to you so many times over phone."
Lallu explained, "Daddy, I thought you liked it, so I gave you a pleasant surprise."
*********************************
Lalwa complained to wife, "I could not sleep whole night in the train on upper berth."
Wife said, "Well, you should have exchanged with lower berth."
Lalwa, "Yes, but with whom do I exchange, there was no one to talk to in lower berth."
*********************************
Customer asked, "What it the guarantee that themirror you trying sell would not break."
Delhi-ka-thug, "Sir if you drop this mirror from 100th floor it will not break until all the way to 99th floor down."
Lalwa, "99% strong OK pack it."
*********************************
Lalwa was blessed with a birth of a daughter. He fell in anxiety.
He told friend, "You know these boys they sexually harass girls."
Friend said, "Oh don't worry name her DIDI (big sister) and no one will come near.
*********************************
NASA sent three Lallu astronauts to moon flying their rocket.
But they returned from half way there. On inquiry they said, "It is dark moon day, there won't be any moontoday in space.
*********************************
Lalwa's dad died at home in India and he was crying in grief.
A telephone rang, he responded and started crying even louder.
Friend asked what happened. He explained, "My sister called and her Dad also died today."
*********************************
If Lalea want to dial 94494 94494..
How will he dial........?
He will first dial ..... 94494
And then he will "REDIAL"94494
*********************************
Lalwa is this Banana for.
Vendor, "Oh $1.00 per pound.
Lalwa, "Would you sell it for 0.60 cents?
Vendor, "for 60 cents you would not get even pills of banana.
Lalwa, " Here 40 cents, do not give me banana pills just the banana inside.
*********************************
Lalwa, "My wife fell down in our water well, must be badly hurt
And she was screaming a lot."
Friend, "Oh what a mishap, but how is she now?"
Lalwa, " I guess she must be fine, I don't hear any scream from well any more."
Aamir Khan Muskurane Lag Jata Hain
Teacher: “Aap Itna Muskura Kyu Rahe Ho?”
Aamir: “Sir!, Wo Kya Hai, Bachpan Se Iccha Thi Ki Main Sex Education College Mein Padhu! Aaj Yaha Padh Raha Hu, Bahut Maza Aa Raha Hai”
Teacher: “Zyada Maza Lene Ki Zarurat Nahi Hai, Condom Ki Definition Bolo?”
Aamir: “Sir! Condom Is Anything Which Reduces Population”
Teacher: “Will U Plz Elaborate?”
Aamir: “Har Wo Cheez Jo Population Control Kare!”
“Baccha Paida Nahi Karna Hai, Condom Hai Na”
“Masti! Chahiye Raat Se Lekar Subah Tak, Condom Hai Sir”
“Actualy Sir! Hum Condom Se Ghire Hue Hai”
“8th Class Ke Ladke Se Lekar Mujh Tak, Sab Condom Ka Use Kar Rahe Hai”
“1 Second Mein In, 1 Second Mein Out, In-Out, In-Out”
Teacher: “Arre… Defination Kya Hai?”
Aamir: “Wo Hi To Bata Raha Hu Sir”
Teacher: “Exam Mein Ye Sab Likhoge?”
“Ye Condom Hai! Masti! Raat Se Lekar Subah Tak! Idiot”
“Anybody Else??”
Chattur: “Sir!, Condom Are Between Any Combination Of Body So Connected, That Their Relative Positions May Be Seen In Kamasutra..”
Teacher: “Wah! Kya Baat Hai