Insurance Agent

Insurance agent: Sir, we do penis insrnce also

Customer: you replace with new one?

Agent: No sir, once it dosent work,
we ensure free service to your wife

THE GRATE ONE

4 men in
prison cell:
a rapist
a murderer
a psycho
...and a gay.
...
rapist: if there's a cat here, i'd fuck it til
it dies.
murderer: once you're done, i'd
torture it to death.
psycho: once it's dead, i'd fuck it til i
die!
the gay in the corner very softly says…
meoowww…

manager

Boss to Manager: Jaa k muthh maar k aa...

Manager cums back n says ho gaya..

Boss: Fir se maar k aa..

Manager again goes, cums back n says ho gaya..

Boss: 1 aur baar maar k aa..

Manager: Bas sir, ab saara stamina khatam ho gaya...

Boss: Very good !! Ab tu meri wife ko ghar chhod kar aa

shayar ki kahani

KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI
INTAZAM KI...
People - WAH!, WAH, IRSHAAD,
IRSHAAD !!!!
KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI
INTAZAM KI...
KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI
INTAZAM KI...
CHUDEGI AAJ LAUNDI NIZAM KI.
People were really angry to
hear this. (probably most
of them were not like us). They
started abusing and
throwing stones at him. On
this he again started...
AYE DHARTI KE CHAAND
SITARON...
This calmed people a bit.
AYE DHARTI KE CHAAND
SITARON...
MAA KE LAUDON, PATTHAR TO
NA MARO
People went out of control this
time and started
beating and kicking him. He
begged for mercy but they
were not ready to listen to him
anymore, so he finally
stated.
GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE
GAND MARLO HAMARI..
GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE
GAND MARLO HAMARI....
JAB BAHARE-CHAMAN MAIN
HONGE, MAA CHOD-DENGE
TUMHARI...
Rest is history. But the history
stayed with him when
he grew up. Ab jaahir hai ki
aise chutiye ke prem me koi
kadega nahi. To yeh shayar
Hyderabaad se Bombai pyaar
ka
chakkar chalane ke liye aaya.
Ek din usne
ek achchhi ladki ko dekha.
Ladki ka dhyaan kahi aur tha
to shaayar sahaab ne wahi
farma diya...
MUDHKAR ZARA IDHAR BHI DEKH
ZAALIM
KE TAMANNA HUM BHI RAKHTE
HAI
CHUT TERE PAAS HAI TO KYA
L*nd HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI
You won't believe it. But the
steak liked this shayri
and she fell for him. Things
went well for them for next
few days lekin woh ladki kuch
aage nahi badhne deti thi.
To ek suhana mousam pe
humare dost ne use kahe
hidala...
DIL TO DIYA HAI TUJHE PAR EK
SHART LAGAYI HAI
LENI HAI WOH CHEEZ JO TUNE
TANGO ME CHHEPAYEE HAI
That was it! Ladki ek dam ruth
gayi aur shayar se
milna jhulna chhod diya. To
shayar ki haalat bhi kharab
ho gayi. Dost log bhi khairat
puchhne chale aaye. To
cheer him up, they requested
him to say a sher
dedicated to her.
So he goes...
BEDARD ZAMANA KYA JAANE
KYA CHEEZ JUDAAI HOTI HAI
HUM L*nD PAKAD KAR BAITHE
HAI
JABKI GHAR GHAR ME CHUDAI
HOTI HAI
Yeh sunkar dost log hil gaye.
Koi bola l*nd ko
sambhalo. To koi kaheta hai ki
agar l*nd ko pakad kar
baithoge to mutne kaise
jaoge? To shayar bolta hai...
KOUN KAHETA HAI KI LU*D
YAHAN MUTNE-KO AATA HAI?
KOUN KAHETA HAI KI LU*D
YAHAN MUTNE-KO AATA HAI?
ARE WOH TO CHUT KI YAAD ME
AANSU BAHANE AATA HAI
Yeh sun kar sab dost log aur
bhi pareshaan ho gaye. Ek
dost se to yeh suna bhi nahi
gaya. To woh dost bolta hai
ki mei kaise bhi karke teri
darling ko waapis bulaunga.
Tere paas waapis aake tujh pe
ek ehsaan karne khi bhikh
mangooga. Ab aap log to
jaante ho ki yeh shayar log
kitne independant hote hai. To
humare shayar ko yeh
ehsaan lene wali baat kuch
pasand nahi aayi. To woh
bola...
EHSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA, HUM
TO MUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE
HAI
EHSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA, HUM
TO MUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE
HAI
JAB BHI YAAD UNKI AATI HAI,
OOTH OOTH DUBARA KARTE HAI
Mahebooba kabhi waapis nahi
aayi. To uski yaad bhula
ne ke liyewohi shaayar Delhi
chala Gaya. Wahan jab
Qutub Minar dekha to bola:
DEKH KE QUTUB MINAR, SHAYAR
KA DIMMAG DUADA
ASMAAN KO CHODNE CHALA
DHARTI KA LAUDA
Is par Delhi police ki gaand
mein khujli hui to usse
pakad liya gaya aur court mein
pesh kiya gaya. Jab
Judge sahiba ne poocha
"tumhe kuch kehna hai?" to
woh
bola:
AIYE SANAM UTHA KALAM
MUJHE KASAM HAI RABKI
MUJHE KASAM HAI RABKI
MAA CHOD DOONGA SABKI...
On such a contempt of court,
he was ordered to be
hanged till death. When he
was burried, the judge
sahiba visited his grave.
Needless to say she was very
mad so she pissed on his
grave. Judge sahiba ke jane
ke baad hi iss shayar ke bhoot
ne ek arz farmaya...
WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PE,
CHAL DIYE MOOT KE..
WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PE,
CHAL DIYE MOOT KE..
CHALO ISSI BAHANE DARSHAN
HO GAYE CHUT KE..
BADI CHIKNI THI UNKI CHUT..
BHENCHOD AB KYA FAYDA JAB
HUM BAN GAYE BHOOT

RAMLAL

Ek grls hostel ka guard roz daru
pine k bad gali bakta tha : mera
nam ramlal,kiski chut me kitne
baal.
Ek ladki sunkar boli: meri... chut
me itna baal ki phas jayega
ramlal..
Aisa 3 dino tak sunne k bad ramlal
ne phir kaha: mera nam
ramlal,kiski chut me kitne baal.
Ladki :meri chut me itna baal ki
phas jayega ramlal.
Ramlal: goli chalegi dhay se,chut
fategi baye se, jal jayenge sare
baal, bach niklega ramlal...!!! ;-) :-

SEX CLASS

Sex Peroid Mein Teacher Ne Bacho Se Pucha
“Tum Us Aadmi Ko Kya Kahoge Jo Condom Use Nahi Karta”
Classroom Ke Sare Students Zor Se Bole: “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy“

DOGGY STYLE

1ladki ne 7bachho ko janam diya...

bed se utarte hi usne apne husband ko thappad mara...

aur boli

maine kaha tha na vo KUTTE wala style theek nahi h... :D :p

THE WAY OF THINKING

Teacher ask johny: If there were 5 birds on a fence & you shot 1, how many are left?
Johny: none, as others will fly away
Teacher: The ans is 4 but i like the way you think.
Johny: i have a question madam. If 3 women are eating icecream. one licking, one biting & one sucking, which is married?
Teacher in sweat n nervousnes: well, the one sucking the icec ..
Johny: no,you are wrong. the one with wedding ring on her finger. But i like the way you think mam!

SANTA IN SCHOOL

Teacher: Gay Hamari Mata Hai.
(School k bahar 1 Gay road pe ghum rhi thi)
Santa: Sir Bahar Aapki Mummy Awara "SAANDH" k sath CHUD Rahi h

PARROT

A Parrot Swallows A Viagra Tablet.
His Owner, Disgusted, Puts Him In The Freezer To Cool Off.
Later When He Opens The Freezer, He Finds The Parrot Sweating. ?
He Asks: “How Come You Are Sweating?”
The Parrot Replies: “Do You Know How Hard It Is To Open The Legs Of A Frozen Chicken?“

FARMER'S COCK

A farmer buys a young cock.
As soon as it comes home, it rushes & fucks al d 150 hens.
d farmer is impressed.
At lunch, d cock again screws al 150 hens.
Farmer gets tense now.

Next day, he finds cock fuckin d ducks, goats n donkey also.
Later, d farmer finds d cock pale, half-dead & eagles circling over it's head.
Farmer says,
"u deserved it, u horny bastard.."
d cock opens 1 eye, points up & says
.
.
.
.
"Ssshh! Don't shout let them land".

BUS ME DOODH

Bus me lady baby ko doodh pilate boli : Pee le warna uncle ko de dungi Thodi der baad uncle bola : jaldi decide kar.. tere chakkar me mai 3 stop aage aa gaya!

WIFE'S SHOPPING LIST

Biwi: Muli,Gajar Mote Aur Lambe Lana...

Pati: Nhi Launga,Tum Unka Galat Istemal Krti Ho.

Biwi: Tumhe Q Dard Ho Raha H, Tumhari
Gaand M To Nhi Dalti Hu..!

Difference Between Wife & Neighbor’s Wife

Question: What is the Difference Between Wife & Neighbor’s Wife?Answer: Wife Is A Chocolate, Can Have Anytime. Neighbor Wife Is Like An Ice-Cream, Should Have Immediately.

SANTA KOTHE PE

Santa Kothe Pe Gaya Aur RANDI SE Bola

S: “Mujhe Rita Se Milna Hai.”

R: wo 1 Raat Ka 1000 Rs Leti H

S: Koi Baat Nahi Mai Donga

Santa Rita Ko 3 din lagatar chodta hai 3000 deta hai aur chalne lagta hai

Rita:Kaha Se Aaye Ho?

Santa: Ji, Punjab Ludhiana Se

Rita: “Ohh Waha To Meri Cousin Bhi Rahti Hai”

Santa: “Haan, Usi Ne To Mujhe 3000 Rs Diye Thhe Aur Kaha Tha Ki Tumhe De Du,

LUND UTHANE KA NAYA TARIKA

Very hot wife,

Husbnd ka lund chum k boli

mere LaL,
Mera Sona,
Mera Bccha,
Mera Babu
UTH Ja Na,

Husbnd-Bhnchod Isko CHooT Me Dalna he ya School bhejna hai.

DATE

Boy & girl go to hotel

girl orders costly items

Boy:maa k ghar me bhi yahi khati ho kya?

G:nahi par maa dinner k baad meri choot nahi maarti.

A GIRL IN THE BUS

Ek Bus Me Sab Seat pe Mard Bethe The,

1 Ladki Khadi Thi.

Kafi Der Baad wo Boli:

"Kaisa Zamana aa gya hai chOOt Khadi He aur Lund Bethe Hai!!"

NOTICE IN THE LIFT

Ek Lift Mein Board Pe Do Notice Lage Hue Thhe
1st: Ladies Ka Khas Khayal Rakhe
2nd: Ek Bar Me 6 Se Zyada Aadmi Na Chadhe

Do Matlab

Teacher 10th Class Mein Bacho Ko
Smjha Raha ThaTeacher:“Bachho Is Duniya Mein Har Baat Ke Do Matlab Nikalte
Hai”Ladki: “Sir,
Nikal Ke Dikhaiye Na?”

Teacher: “Rehne De, Teri Isi Bat Ke Do
Matlab Nikal Rahe Hai“